"In the end we shall have had enough of cynicism, skepticism and humbug, and we shall want to live more musically." - Vincent Van Gogh

As I sit down to write today, I find myself thinking about my longstanding practice of working to avoid cynicism. I think I was born an optimist and I had to learn to recognize cynical attitudes in others, and the hints that I might be moving towards cynicism myself. My experience is that cynicism robs me of joy and the power to take action to improve things. It does this while giving me nothing in return. There is simply no good reason to be cynical and for me it would be a weakness to surrender to this poisonous attitude. I cannot say for certain the my experience will hold true for others, but I admit that I think it will.

Just to make sure we don’t confuse cynicism with pessimism, skepticism, pragmatism, frustration, or simple realism, here are some definitions. Cynic - a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons; a disposition of disbelief in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions. Cynical - having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic: as a :  contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives b :  based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest. Cynicism - an inclination to believe that people are motivated purely by self-interest.

For me the risk of cynicism at work is that it can prevent us from engaging with each other to pursue goals that will make a difference for the organization and, in the process, help us find value and meaning in the work we do. When we look at others and question their motives, suspecting that they are acting in an inappropriately self-interested way, we discount their potential to contribute to the work we share. If, instead, we assume the best of our colleagues, I believe we have the opportunity to amplify and enhance each other's best ideas and contributions. As in my personal experience, I don’t believe cynicism has any power to add to our work together, but only to diminish our potential.

In the workplace, I have seen staff who are cynical about their leaders, and leaders who are cynical about staff. At the university, I have seen faculty who are cynical about staff, and staff who are cynical about faculty. I have never once seen these attitudes result in anything positive or useful. Especially when times were hard, and our budgets became a diminishing zero-sum game,  I could understand the temptation to question the motives of others. As salaries remained flat and layoffs threatened the security of our families, it was tempting to surrender to frustration instead of coming together to give the best we could together. Even during these trying times, I’m convinced that cynicism only made things worse by stealing our shared productivity, personal joy and hope.

As people move higher into leadership the risk of drifting out of touch can increase the risk of cynicism. With an increasingly busy schedule and a broader scope of responsibility it can be hard to maintain awareness of the challenges and issues that motivate and frustrate those we lead. The best leaders make it a priority to find ways to address this risk by making time to spend with the teams they are leading and not just their direct reports. They seek to balance their need to focus on new responsibilities with staying as close as they can to the needs and contributions of the people they are leading.

Even with the best intentions and efforts, the risk of cynicism is very real. Leaders naturally get requests to take actions that their employees believe will benefit the organization, the employee, or both. Employees volunteer to lead or participate in projects, request raises, and promotions and make their cases for these requests. We are also faced with the need to coach, or even discipline, employees whose work is not meeting expectations. Some will think we are out of touch and not listening when we have heard and either disagree with, or have been unsuccessful acting on, what we’ve heard. Even when we do our best to do what is right, employees can become cynical when their requests are not granted, or they receive coaching or discipline, and we don’t provide enough context for our decisions. Even when we do, some may suspect we are pursuing only what is best for our own career or image.

At the same time, leaders can drift toward cynicism when faced with many requests that seem to serve the employees’ best interest in favor of the organization, or when frustrated by an inability to act on justified requests due to limited budgets and other constraints. I have struggled with this myself as my responsibilities increased. I understand the political realities of needing to demonstrate that we are achieving results, providing effective leadership and strategic direction. Finding a balance between the needs of those we lead and the needs of the organizations we serve in a constant challenge. I believe we can do this while still serving the need to do what is right and without a surrender to cynicism.

As I think about this struggle, I’m reminded that our modern meaning and understanding of cynicism is very different from the philosophy advanced by ancient Greeks like Antisthenes that came to be called cynicism. According to that philosophy, our goal in life is mental clarity and the best path to this is through living in harmony with nature as defined by reason. To flourish, the ancient cynics taught that it is necessary to live with a love of humanity, and a self-sufficient indifference to the unavoidable misfortunes of life. The cynic was to live frugally to avoid the influences like power, wealth and fame. At the same time the cynic challenged social conventions and lived in full engagement with society.

The idea from this cynical philosophy that resonates most for me as I write today is that arrogance results from false judgments of value which can in turn result in a vicious character. This last notion sounds like an indictment of what we call cynicism today. By reaching the false judgement that others are motivated solely by self interest, we can adopt an attitude that is destructive to our happiness and productivity.

I want to be very clear about the difference between cynicism and the appropriate and necessary duty to consider our own interests and those of our loved ones. In writing today, I don’t mean to disrespect people's genuine and appropriate efforts to pursue what is in the best interest of themselves and their families. This is much different than the solely self-interested attitude the modern cynic sees in others.

In the end, cynicism is the opposite attitude of the one I try to bring to my work, and life in general, that is inspired by my favorite paraphrase from Kirkegaard, “Presume love in the other”. I will continue to fight against the temptation to become cynical and will continue to believe that others come to the work and life we share with the best interests of all in mind. The risk of being taken advantage of, or incorrectly perceived as naive, is small compared to the near certainty that cynicism would cost me much that makes life sweet.

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today we pause to remember and honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. As today is a holiday, I won't be writing a full-length essay. Instead, I simply want to express my own admiration and respect for this great man and his work.

Dr. King devoted his, much too short, life to working for civil rights and social justice. His courageous leadership in using peaceful civil disobedience, and his eloquence in speaking truth to power will serve always as a shining example to those who seek justice and equality.

His efforts to promote civil rights, end poverty, and oppose war changed the way we think, speak, and act about these and other issues and call us to promote equal social justice for all. I watched the world change, and grew up in a better world, thanks to the work of this brave, honest, loving man and his colleagues. I am grateful.

“They're certainly entitled to think that, and they're entitled to full respect for their opinions... but before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.” - Harper Lee in “To Kill a Mockingbird”

I wrote this essay yesterday and then learned this morning of David Bowie's death. His creativity, and courage in being who he chose to be, and doing what he chose to do, were an inspiration to me and many others. He certainly was courageous in choosing to do what he thought was right. "Check ignition and may God's love be with you." Go on in peace, David Bowie. "The stars look very different today" with you among them.

As I look back at my career in IT, I am thinking of those times when I had to balance doing what I thought was right today with remaining part of the organization where I was working so that I could be part of pursuing what was right in the long run. There have been situations where it almost felt I was having to balance longevity, in my career and with the organization, with integrity. I say “almost” because I hope I can honestly say I have never surrendered my integrity in order to keep my job. To my colleagues at the university who read these essays, let me reassure you I do not find myself in such a crisis today.

In the course of our careers, and lives, there are many times when we are faced with situations where we are certain a particular course of action would be best, but the decision is to take a different approach. Most often, these are routine differences of opinion, but sometimes they are matters of great importance to us. In these cases it can be very difficult to find a balance we can accept. In my own career, there have been times I seriously considered finding another job, or seeking a new position with the organization, and some significant periods when I continued working to do my best for the organization, and my team members, despite being very much at odds with the direction we were pursuing.

I have been asked to do things that were very difficult for me to face, and that lead to do some serious soul searching, but I don’t recall ever being asked to do something unethical, immoral or illegal. I’ve had to pursue layoffs that resulted from a change in our IT strategy that I opposed, the dismissal of employees for cause, and shutting down the business operations of a service that was no longer viable. Most of these situations were simply difficult but laying off staff when I thought we’d have been better off keeping them and not changing our direction lead me to consider a career change. While I felt at times like the captain of a sinking ship, I ultimately decided it was best to stay and see the difficult task through.

I came closest to resigning a job over a matter of principle when my vice president broke a promise that had been made to me and two colleagues about our future with the company. All the arrangements had been made for each of us to move on to new positions with the firm that represented opportunities for professional growth and greater contributions. The new VP, who had been on the job less than a month, unilaterally cancelled those reassignments. My colleagues and I were shocked by this move and two of us were considering resigning while another was ready to accept his disappointment and continue in his current position.

Ultimately, after briefing my manager, I chose to meet with the president of the company. Rather than threaten resignation, which felt too much like an ultimatum to me, I simply explained the situation to him, provided documentation of the agreed reassignments, and told him how disappointed I was with the vice president’s actions, which I felt didn’t reflect the values of the company. I asked the president whether he would be willing to honor the promise that had been made to us. My thought was that the best outcome would be the president agreeing to do this, and that in the worst case I could resign and find another job. The president didn’t hesitate. He assured me the reassignments would go forward and I appreciate his honor to this day. The next day I learned that the new VP had been terminated.  While I never learned all that lead to that decision, it has remained a lesson for me about the importance of leaders honoring the values and commitments of the organizations they serve.

A number of times I have advocated for positions that I thought were critically important, and that I felt were best for the organization, and failed. In addition to the change in IT strategy mentioned above, I argued for in-sourcing a major service where I believed we could provide greater value for less cost and was told to discontinue my efforts and have no further contact with the team working on outsourcing that service. I've also tried to present data that would show that the IT unit I lead for an organization I served was underfunded and understaffed and was told the leadership was certain this was not the case and did not need to see that data. I’ve faced several similar situations over time.

What I’ve learned from these experiences is that there are both personal and professional factors to consider in deciding how to respond. In addition to my career aspirations, work satisfaction, stress and other work-related considerations, I’ve always considered what was best for my family and my own personal well being. I’ve learned I have options in responding to situations like these. I can accept the decision, try again to see if I can influence a change in direction, seek some compromise, or agree to disagree. There are times I’ve done each of these. I’ve also learned how important it is to go forward with integrity in every case. Even when I don’t agree, if I choose to remain involved I must do my best to promote the success of the direction the organization has chosen.

I’ve found it important to recognize the difference between these sorts of challenges and other disappointments that might make us question whether it is time for a job or career change. While seeing colleagues laid off in response to the Great Recession, losing management support for my SHARE career one year before I was due to serve as President, and other disappointments have been difficult and made me consider seeking different work, they haven’t presented this same sort of dilemma. These situations where I have no power to act within my current role are different from those where I have the ability to advocate for what I believe is right.

We face similar challenges in our personal lives where we are faced with balancing what we think is right at the moment with other demands and long-term consequences. I’ve written about regrets and some of mine are associated with circumstances where this balance required difficult choices. At least once in my life, I have broken an important promise and, while I regret having done so, ultimately I know I did what was right. Having made a promise I should not have made, I reached a point where the only way forward was to break that promise. I do my best to make peace with the consequences of my decisions. On some days I feel more at peace than on others.

The balance of integrity and longevity can extend from our work lives to our personal lives as we work to balance the demands of our careers with the needs of our loved ones and our desire to make family our priority. As we work to honor our professional commitments, we can be faced with choices that impact our commitments to our loved ones, and that can affect the most fundamental question of longevity; our health and how long we will live. I’ve faced this dilemma in my own life and learned some lessons the hard way when work stress has affected my health. I’m grateful I didn’t pay the ultimate price and hope I’ve learned this lesson well.

I hope you will learn to manage work stress effectively before it affects your health or family. I’m sure you will be faced with situations where you can’t do what you believe is right today and must accept that the organization you work for has chosen a different course.  I’d suggest you consider carefully whether it is time to keep advocating for your position or to cut your losses and accept the alternative. This doesn’t mean you have to give up. You can always be ready to try again when conditions change. I had another chance to present that data about funding and staffing for the IT unit I was leading.

Advocate for what you believe is right and do your best to help colleagues support your position by providing a sound rationale and good data. When the decision doesn’t go your way, be graceful in accepting this and give your best efforts to ensuring the success of what the organization has chosen to do. Should you ever find that you cannot reconcile what you are being asked to do with what is ethical, I wish you the strength and courage to refuse, and to accept the consequences even it that forces a change in your job or career. Make sure to weigh what is best for your loved ones, including yourself, and in the long run I believe you’ll find you can look back with confidence that you kept your integrity and did your best. I’m glad I can.

"Life did not intend to make us perfect. Whoever is perfect belongs in a museum." - Erich Maria Remarque

Happy New Year! As we begin another year together, in our lives at work, and in the vital relationships that bring meaning to our lives, I hope our holidays have been very happy, and given us each a little time to reflect on what has been working during the past year, where we need to grow and change, and what really matters in our lives. While January 1 is simply the day that follow December 31, we can make it an opportunity to recommit ourselves to being the best people we can be, at work, in our communities, for our loved ones, and for ourselves.

For me, this time just after the joyful, and busy, celebrations of the holidays is a special quiet time. A time that renews me like meditation. I enjoy the feeling of peaceful stillness before the new year takes off again and I find that, just as when I open my eyes after meditating, everything looks brighter, and I can engage in all my activities with greater energy and clarity. It as if the world takes a cleansing breath, holds it for one quiet moment of peace, and breathes out gently as we move forward together into another circle ‘round the sun.

Today, I find myself reflecting on our not being perfect and remembering that our differences in approach, thinking, personality, and perspective are strengths for the teams that we participate in and lead. None of us is perfect. Every one of us is a work in progress. Each of us makes mistakes. We each have flaws and frailties that we will never completely overcome. We may look in the mirror and perceive flaws in the image looking back. Some will frown at gray hairs and wrinkles, others will grimace at a too-youthful face that they fear is not taken seriously. We may see a reflection that we think is too fat, or too thin. We may ask whether others judge us based on our gender, age, race, disability, or other aspects of our reflection. One of our frailties may be that we allow trivial things to matter to us. One of the flaws we must all work together to correct is the very real discrimination, based on differences that do not affect our value, that still affects how we treat one another.

When we look beyond the mirror, and into ourselves, we may see more significant flaws that we work to overcome. We may struggle with our tempers, recognize prejudice within ourselves, see that we are too hasty and impatient, or too cautious and averse to risks. We may be reticent to share our thoughts or feelings, or feel that we share too much. While my own belief is that there is no wrong thought or feeling, only wrong behavior, at times it may require great effort to act only on our best impulses. Sometimes, it is hard to know which course of action is truly best.To some extent we may grow to overcome our flaws but we will probably always have to work to accept, compensate and make amends for our imperfections.

Instead of devaluing each other based on perceived differences, of appearance, belief, or personality, we must work to value each other for the ways our differences make us stronger together. When we celebrate and embrace our diversity, and engage with one another open to hearing, seeing, thinking and feeling the new things others have to share, together we can be far more capable than we are alone. Each of us will be strong where others are weak, bold where others are timid, prudent where others are rash. The collective scope and value of our perspectives, ideas, and feelings will be far greater than any one of us can contribute alone.

Some of our flaws may be hard for us to see. I am far from perfect and one of the flaws that was hardest for me to recognize is that I can be too positive. I am an optimist by birth and friends have said that my glass is neither half-full or half-empty, but overflowing. While I have long recognized this can tend to make me believe it will be easier to accomplish things than is realistic, it was only when I sat with the Nominating Committee for the SHARE Board of Directors some years ago that I realized it could have a negative effect on how others perceive me. Asked about my greatest strength, and my greatest weakness, I responded that in both cases, this was my optimism and I had a good rationale for that answer. A member of the committee for whom I have great respect gently commented that there were times I was so positive that it might be hard for some people to believe that I was “for real”.

Most recently, my wife helped me see how my tendency to emphasize the positive can be an issue. Being a very positive guy, I often tell her how wonderful she is and compliment her in various ways. I made one of those typical positive remarks and she, gently, told me that sometimes she wonders if I see her clearly and know who she really is. My compliments made her wonder if I saw her as a complete human being including her faults. Fortunately, we’ve always been pretty good at communicating and this gave us a chance to talk and for me to reassure her that I see how she is not perfect; in her appearance and in her behavior. I see the gray hairs, she does irritate or annoy me at times, and still she is beautiful and wonderful to me, and I love her as the complete, imperfect, person she is. This has lead to some great, and funny, moments when one of us gently points out something about the other that isn’t perfect and we have a good laugh together. I think it has brought us even closer.

Of course, I’ve always known she isn’t perfect but I haven’t tended to say much about her imperfect points and do tend to be pretty demonstrative and vocal about what I like and love about her. This has been a good learning opportunity for me! I know that I’m this way in general, not just with her, and that it extends to my behavior in the workplace. While I don’t plan to become particularly critical, especially of my loved ones, it could be that people won’t trust the positive things I have to say as much when they aren’t part of what seems a more realistic understanding of them as complete, imperfect, human beings.

Relevant to what I’m writing about today, this particular imperfection of mine could make it hard for me to help the teams I lead to make the most of their diversity. There may be times when it is hard for team members to trust that I am “for real” when I talk about their positive attributes and the things I believe we can accomplish. I need to remember to be open and share clearly the imperfections I see and the challenges we face. When I emphasize the positive in counseling and coaching, I may also fail to address tough issues effectively. I’ll be working with my new team members to address areas where they need to improve, or change problem behaviors, as well as those where we can develop and feature their unique strengths.

I find myself wondering what other ways we may discourage members of our teams from bringing their best unique ideas and perspectives to bear? Are we sustaining cultures where some are expected to conform to outdated norms, others are allowed to engage in dysfunctional behavior, or there is an inappropriate hierarchy that leaves potential contributors in a less-than relationship to others? As we work to remove barriers to success, what can we do to embrace and encourage diversity and innovation? Are we providing the incentives, and flexibility, that encourage innovation and rewarding those who have the courage to think differently? We say we want people to think outside the box. What are we doing to challenge the nature of the box itself?

When you look at your workplace, and the culture of your organization, what do you see? How can you help your teams, and team members, be their imperfect best? When you look at how you, and other leaders, engage with your colleagues, what changes do you think you need to embrace? There are some good examples of practices that major IT organizations are using to encourage innovation. Google is well known for their efforts in this area. Recently, they have applied their 20% time model to encourage greater innovation in diversity. I’m sure other IT organizations, whether in IT companies or other industries, could benefit from their example. For more information, please see: http://www.insightintodiversity.com/google-encourages-employees-to-spend-one-fifth-of-time-focused-on-innovation-in-diversity/

As we begin this new year together, may you all find that 2016 brings you challenges that help you grow, accomplishments that bring your great satisfaction, opportunities to appreciate each other in new ways and to contribute together in your communities, and, especially, time to relax, explore the amazing world we share, and grow closer to your loved ones. I wish you all a very Happy New Year, indeed!