Is it so small a thing
To have enjoy'd the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done;
To have advanced true friends...
- from Matthew Arnold’s poem "From The Hymn Of Empedocles”

I am writing today, on this first full day of spring, the essay I will post tomorrow on the 43rd of my last 100 Mondays. Here at our home, Whisperwood, the day has dawned bright and sunny. I see the flowers blooming in our garden, the boughs of the cedar trees and the bright yellow daffodils swaying in a gentle breeze, and I hear the birds calling as I write. I feel happy and content, and I am very aware of how much I look forward to retiring and spending more time with my loved ones in this beautiful place.

The changing of the seasons has always held special significance for me and I look forward to each new chapter as the years roll by. Each season holds its own special beauty and significance and I enjoy feeling the natural rhythms of life moving around, and through, me.

Reflecting today on the enjoyment this brings me also has me thinking about how I consciously work to notice the things that bring me joy and peace. This has been an important choice for me as I work to keep my balance and perspective. While I feel satisfaction when the work I do makes a difference, and gratitude that it allows me to earn a living for my family, it has also been a significant source of stress and worry for me. When I let it, this stress and worry can rob my life of joy and peace, and put an uneasy distance between my loved ones and me.

I’ve written before about how I choose to include things in my office that help me remember what matters most as one way to keep my balance and perspective. Another way that I do this is to notice the beauty and power of nature around me as I travel to and from my work an hour’s drive from Whisperwood, and as I walk on the hills, and under the starry skies, of home.

Taking time to travel with my loved ones gives me even more opportunities to find my right place in the scheme of things, especially since many of our favorite destinations offer the grandeur of nature in our national parks and wilderness areas. There is nothing quite like a sky full of bright stars, the beautiful power of the ocean, a peaceful sunset on a lake with calling loons, or the feeling of being surrounded by mountains, canyons or wide-open spaces to help me relax into my proper place.

As long as I can remember, I’ve been most comfortable being part of something larger than myself. While I have accepted the role of leader, I have never felt comfortable holding power or being treated as disproportionately important. I would rather give credit to those who join me as part of the team, and of the work, and I look forward to turning over my share of leadership responsibilities to those who will take on the role I hold today. The greatest stress and pressure I’ve experienced has been when I felt that I might fail to do my part in the work when others were counting on me, and especially when they were looking to me as their leader to find the best way forward.

At times, the stress of my responsibilities has threatened my health and my family. I know that my own choices about how to respond to the demands of my work, and to the stress it has created, are very important in controlling this potential threat. I have learned to make choices that help keep my family, and myself, safe more of the time. Seeking balance and perspective has been the most important choice of all.

When I notice the power of nature around me, I can see that I am a very small part of something so much larger and more wonderful than I am. I am touched by how amazing it is that I have deep connections with my loved ones that bring us close amidst the awesome beauty and scope of the universe around us. I look up at the night sky, see a mere fraction of the billion trillion stars that surround us, and I can sometimes feel the planet we share with billions of other people moving under me. To have found these beloved ones among so many, and to have opened my heart to them, and been welcomed into their hearts, feels like some mysterious miracle.

The astounding beauty of the smallest flower, sunlight sparkling on the water, love shining in the eyes of a loved one holding a precious child, voices raised together in song, the quiet of night in the forest, and so many other moments just waiting to be noticed and appreciated, can bring this same feeling of wonder and balance. To share these with my loved ones fills my heart to overflowing. To have some time to spend alone, or simply quiet, to reflect on what truly matters, and to refresh my spirit, helps me settle into my proper place again. When I see myself in perspective, one small part of something greater, I can more easily let go of all I cannot control and reclaim the energy I would otherwise lose in struggling to be something I am not.

This day when I can recognize the seasons changing is a precious reminder that I can find my place by opening my eyes and heart to the world around me. I also enjoy two sets of seasons because I’ve long preferred the Celtic calendar that has spring beginning on Imbolc, around February 1, and summer starting on Beltane, or May Day. I enjoy that this calendar places the spring and autumn equinoxes, and the summer and winter solstices, in the middle of their seasons. It just feels right to me that the longest day is truly Midsummer's Day and that this bright sunny day, with its equal portions of light and darkness, falls in the middle of springtime.

In a similar way, it feels most right to me when I find myself as one part of a larger team, and as one small soul in the middle of something immense and wonderful that seems to go on forever. The seasons will always roll by and I will appreciate the way they help me keep my balance.