"The journey is difficult, immense. We will travel as far as we can, but we cannot in one lifetime see all that we would like to see or to learn all that we hunger to know.” - Loren Eiseley

Today, I’m thinking about retirement and sharing some thoughts about change. At work, we’ve been reading “Managing Transitions:Making the Most of Change” by William and Susan Bridges, so one of the ways I’m thinking about change is with their model of endings, “the neutral zone”, and beginnings in mind.

At work, we’ve been applying this way of thinking to how the organization is dealing with the transition we are going through as we implement a reorganization to align with the leadership of our new CIO. He asked each member of the leadership team to consider what is ending for each of us, and perhaps what we've lost, what is in “the neutral zone”, and what is beginning.

My thoughts about this question are influenced not only by the changes associated with our reorganization, but also by the changes that are part of my planned retirement a bit over a year from now. As we discussed our thoughts at a recent managers meeting, I shared that I’ve lost the opportunity to achieve some things I had hoped to, and to act on the, probably unrealistic, desire that my role as I moved toward retirement might help me wrap things up (as much personally as operationally). The new interim role that I've taken on comes with some significant new challenges that will likely keep me busy for much of my remaining time here.

As I retire, I recognize that I will also lose some of the professional relationships and social opportunities that have been part of my work. While there are many aspects of my work that I don’t believe I will miss, I do expect I will miss the people who have been so much a part of my daily life here. I will work to stay in touch and especially with those colleagues who have also become friends. Navigating this change from daily contact with many others to a life where I will need to seek new social opportunities will be an important part of the transition to retirement.

There is also some chance that retirement could pose challenges for me in that I could feel that I’ve lost the opportunities to make a difference that have been part of my professional career. I will be paying attention to this and looking at how I’d like to make a difference in retirement. There will be new and different opportunities in this new phase of my life and I expect I will need to try some things out to see what fits. I look forward to seeing how I may be able to make a new kind of difference for my family and to finding the right ways to engage in our community.

I also admit that I struggle with some fear of failing before I cross the finish line from my career at work to the new horizons of retirement. Will I be successful in the final assignments I’m taking on and complete my IT career with a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction? Will I falter at the end instead and feel that I have let my colleagues down by failing to achieve the results we are seeking? As I work to finish my part of the work ahead, and prepare to place the rest in the capable hands of my successor, I will continue to strive for a healthy balance to help ensure that I don’t fail physically, or emotionally, and hope that I can leave with my head high looking forward to the next adventure.

For me the “neutral zone” of things that are changing, but not yet transitioned from old to new at work, includes my current role and trying to define the next shape for the client services team I am leading in my interim position. In this process, I am leading several small groups that are working on specific adjustments we are considering, and it remains to be seen what changes we will define. I’m also listening to those who work for and with me to understand where they are in moving through this transition. It is early yet and many of them are in this “neutral zone” themselves.

In the “neutral zone” as I plan for retirement, are what options I may pursue to earn some extra money over the first couple years, and which community activities will fit best for me. I have lots of choices for fun and creative activities that I’m considering and we’ll see which of these I pursue and how the mix of different choices changes over the years. Also in this zone for me are many of my thoughts, feelings, and expectations about retirement. This is an undiscovered country for me and I will not know how useful and accurate these are until I begin exploring the new landscape of my future.

As far as what is beginning, at work I hope, and believe, that the change our university has made in bringing in a CIO will allow us to achieve something I have worked for, and felt we needed, for a long time. With this new commitment to making wise use of IT in pursuit of our mission, I believe the impact of information technology on the success of our students will be greater and more positive. While I may not see the full realization of all I've hoped to, I believe the university should be able to realize the full potential of this new approach over the next few years.

Most of the new beginnings in my personal life remain ahead of me and I am working to plan for these. I have begun talking with my wonderful partner, Sue, and with dear friends and trusted colleagues, about their experiences with retirement and what this new chapter of life may hold for me. In small ways, I have begun taking steps to prepare for these new beginnings. I am researching employment and volunteer options, looking at how to create a space in our home where I can write and play music, and talking with Sue about how I can come home in ways that will work well for us both.

I will find ways to grieve what is lost in a way that respects what I leave behind, and undone. I will work to complete the process of resolving those things that are in the “neutral zone”. I will plan for, and look forward to engaging in, the new beginnings ahead and I will remember that more transitions await me as our adventures in life continue. May I continue to grow in the years ahead and may I prove to be a good partner and companion for those with whom I am fortunate to share these adventures.