"Love is not a being-for-itself quality but a quality by which or in which you are for others." - Søren Kierkegaard, "Works of Love", 1847

Today, I have some thoughts to share about a theme that keeps recurring in these reflections. Doing what is right, with love. Two women I love and respect have shared thoughts recently that helped keep clear to me important things I must remember today. Each of them emphasizes aspects of this simple, and powerful, approach to life, and the choices I must make. Parts that come together to make a greater whole.

One of the women I love wrote, “I have studied history for the better part of my life. I have become a scholar in some areas and have developed casual interests in others. What I have learned from my studies is that there are always two sides to every story. There have been stories of evil, malice, and contempt as well as love, compassion, and morality on both sides of each historical event. History was made the other day. Historians, teachers, and students will look back on that day as a profound shift in American history. All I ask while we are living through these times, no matter what side of history you are on make sure you are an example of love, compassion, and morality.” I take her words to mean that, whatever actions I choose, I must act with love, compassion, and morality.

Another woman I love has said to me, “Being an example of love, compassion, and morality is not enough. Clearly, we are going to have to stand up and fight for it.” I take her words to mean that all the love, compassion, and morality in the world can come to nothing without action.

I know beyond question that both of these women are right, and I hope I have a good understanding of what they are saying. I believe that they would agree with each other about the underlying truth they are both expressing in different ways. I believe they are both calling me to live my commitment to doing what is right with love. I see no conflict between fighting for what is right and acting with love, compassion and morality, and I don’t believe they do either. In fact, I think it could be that there is no way to do the one without doing the other.

When a mother stands up for her children, fighting for them and protecting them with her whole being, or when a father does, I am certain they are acting in love. When we stand up for those who are marginalized because they are in the minority, and are being treated as the “other”, when we fight for equality and equity for them, I am certain we are acting with compassion. When we seek right action in our fighting for a better world for our children and grandchildren, our families, our neighbors, and people we barely know, or may never meet, I am certain our search to do what is right is an exercise in morality.

I absolutely believe that we will only make the world better by standing up for what is right. By working for it. By fighting for it when we must. I believe we must confront injustice and inequality wherever they exist, and that the responsibility to confront them is an obligation we must accept and commit to if we expect to be loving, compassionate and moral human beings. This is an obligation that transcends all other categorizations, classifications, and allegiances.

How we confront these challenges will change over time, depending on our ability to act, the opportunity we have to influence change, our own level of commitment and courage, and the risks we are willing to take. Our awareness, and understanding, of the issues we face will impact our willingness to act, and our ability to identify, and take, right action, and so we have a responsibility to raise our awareness and educated ourselves. We are, each of us, far from perfect and we can always learn from our experience and the experiences of others.

Our society is far from perfect. There are many among us who have reason to fear. They fear that they will be discriminated against, face violence, see their children’s futures diminished, and suffer other wrongs because they are seen, and treated as the “other”. They fear for their economic security, their access to health care, their future. They fear when faced with inequality and inequity. And they stand up and face their fear as the act to seek an equal, and equitable, share of the freedom and opportunity we are so proud our nation, at its best, can represent. As women in a society where men are privileged. As people of color in a society where white people are privileged. As poor people in a society where rich people are privileged. As immigrants, Muslims, refugees, disabled people, LGBTQ people, and others who have reason to feel marginalized and treated as “other” and “less than”.

I like the way U2 calls us to action in their song “Invisible” where they sing, “There is no them, there's only us.” If only it could feel this way to so many who know for sure there that “they” are powerful, privileged, and threatening. If only it could feel this way to those who treat others who appear different as though they are not part of “us”. How I long for a world where this aspiration becomes reality.

I know that, as an old white man, I must look like “them” to some of the young women and others on campus who see mine as the face of privilege. In some way I suppose it is. While I choose to do my best daily to do what is right with love by acting to support increasing equality and equity for all, still I am a person who has had advantages because I am white, and because I am male. I am not one of the “angry old white men” who would fight to keep these privileges and deny equality to others. Because I am not, I feel I must work, and act in love, even more to use my privileged position for good.

There are people I love and respect who sometimes find my belief in a loving approach too soft,  and who doubt my chances of making effective change this way. I understand this but respectfully disagree. I believe that beginning from a position of love as I choose my actions is essential. That standing up, and even fighting, for what is right with love will always be more powerful than acting without love.

We will not always agree on what is right, moral, compassionate, or even loving. Each of us must make our own choices about where we stand and how we will act on our beliefs. Still, any position, action, or choice that would lead us to treat others as “less than” instead of “equal to” does not seem right to me. We are different from one another. Diverse in our fundamental humanity and equality. This is one of our greatest strengths. Loving is not enough, yet love is essential. Acting is not enough, yet action is essential. For me, the answer is to do my best, always, to do what is right, with love.