“Follow, poet, follow right
To the bottom of the night,
With your unconstraining voice
Still persuade us to rejoice.” - W.H. Auden from “In Memory of W.B. Yeats”
As retirement comes closer each week, I find myself looking forward to the new adventure ahead, and thinking about some of the most important and meaningful things from my career in IT. Many of these are lessons I’ve learned that have helped me be a better colleague, leader, and man. I know that most will serve me every bit as well in the next chapter of my life.
I’ve learned from my loved ones, from friends and colleagues, from mentors and teachers. I’ve learned from people who have been part of my life, and from philosophers, sages, historical figures, and authors who died long before I was born. A lover of reading, I’ve learned from books. From history, biography, some of the greatest classics of literature, and from some great modern fiction.
Today, I find myself thinking about a wonderful lesson that combines learning from my friends and loved ones, and from a wonderful book. I am fortunate to have a dear friend who shares my love of reading. My book buddy and I share favorite books with each other and I enjoy our visits about what we’ve been reading. Among the wonderful authors she has introduced me to is Louise Penny, and it was in Penny’s book, “Bury Your Dead” that I first encountered her Chief Inspector Gamache’s four sentences that lead to wisdom. I had come to this book looking forward to the relaxing escape of a murder mystery. I found that escape, and also one of the most compassionate characters I’ve ever encountered in a mystery novel.
Through Inspector Gamache, Louise Penny passes on four sentences, that she tells us he received from his mentor, and shares with each of his protegees. They are the four sentences that lead to wisdom:
I’m sorry.
To the bottom of the night,
With your unconstraining voice
Still persuade us to rejoice.” - W.H. Auden from “In Memory of W.B. Yeats”
As retirement comes closer each week, I find myself looking forward to the new adventure ahead, and thinking about some of the most important and meaningful things from my career in IT. Many of these are lessons I’ve learned that have helped me be a better colleague, leader, and man. I know that most will serve me every bit as well in the next chapter of my life.I’ve learned from my loved ones, from friends and colleagues, from mentors and teachers. I’ve learned from people who have been part of my life, and from philosophers, sages, historical figures, and authors who died long before I was born. A lover of reading, I’ve learned from books. From history, biography, some of the greatest classics of literature, and from some great modern fiction.
Today, I find myself thinking about a wonderful lesson that combines learning from my friends and loved ones, and from a wonderful book. I am fortunate to have a dear friend who shares my love of reading. My book buddy and I share favorite books with each other and I enjoy our visits about what we’ve been reading. Among the wonderful authors she has introduced me to is Louise Penny, and it was in Penny’s book, “Bury Your Dead” that I first encountered her Chief Inspector Gamache’s four sentences that lead to wisdom. I had come to this book looking forward to the relaxing escape of a murder mystery. I found that escape, and also one of the most compassionate characters I’ve ever encountered in a mystery novel.
Through Inspector Gamache, Louise Penny passes on four sentences, that she tells us he received from his mentor, and shares with each of his protegees. They are the four sentences that lead to wisdom:
I’m sorry.
I was wrong.
I need help.
I don’t know.
When I met these four sentences in her book, they were like old friends I had know most of my life. I don’t pretend that these were new ideas to me. Still, Penny showed them to me in a new way by sharing them through the words, thoughts, and actions of a caring man who struggled with them even as I have. As Armand Gamache strove to find the truth in a way that would help him do the right thing, I felt reenergized in my own efforts to practice saying these simple words, and meaning them.
“I’m sorry”. Of the four sentences, I think this one is the easiest for me to say. I am an emotional man and this is the one sentence that expresses an emotion. I am far from perfect, as we all are, and I have many opportunities to apologize for my mistakes. To apologize for doing wrong despite my earnest efforts to do what is right. I offer a truly heartfelt apology. The hard work comes from the fact that being sincerely sorry is seldom, if ever, enough. It is a first step toward committing to changing the things about myself that lead me to take wrong action, or make a particular mistake.
I think each of these four sentences offers a similar challenge. Having made any of these statements, we are then called to take action. “I was wrong”, was harder work for me. I’ve learned to say this almost as often as I need to, and it has been a humbling experience. I’ve tried so hard to do what is right, that there have been times when admitting that I am wrong has been very difficult for me. I’m grateful that I’ve learned that with “I was wrong”, I can give myself permission to make adjustments, or begin again, in my quest to do what is right.
“I need help”, is the one of these that I’ve been working on with the least success for the longest time. When I was a young teenager, my dear older sister, Nancy, first encouraged me to ask for help more often. I was walking, or riding my bike, miles to visit a friend, and Nancy tried to help me understand that I could ask her for a ride. From this simple beginning, I have worked to ask for help when I need it, but it’s still common for me to prefer to do things myself instead of asking others for help. As you can imagine, this is one of the reasons that delegating work has been more challenging for me. I’m glad to say that I’ve made real progress in this area over the years. At the same time, I’m sure I’ll need to keep working on the wisdom I can gain by asking for help.
“I don’t know”, is one of the most freeing of these four sentences for me. I grew up being praised for my intelligence, and have often been the one in my family who others turn to for answers. I’ve even been kidded about being “the keeper of all useless bits of knowledge” by my kids. I do know many things, and I’m happy and proud to have enjoyed accumulating knowledge during my life. The great thing about “I don’t know”, is that it helps me identify areas where I can learn more. After all, learning about, and researching, new things is something I really enjoy! “I don’t know” also gives others the opportunity to share their knowledge, and this is a wonderful way to learn, and to build relationships.
I never know when I will encounter something that helps me grow. I’m glad I found this sentences that lead to wisdom in a wonderfully written murder mystery. Louise Penny says that these books are inspired by two lines from W.H. Auden’s elegy, “Herman Melville”.
“Goodness existed, that was the new knowledge
I need help.
I don’t know.
When I met these four sentences in her book, they were like old friends I had know most of my life. I don’t pretend that these were new ideas to me. Still, Penny showed them to me in a new way by sharing them through the words, thoughts, and actions of a caring man who struggled with them even as I have. As Armand Gamache strove to find the truth in a way that would help him do the right thing, I felt reenergized in my own efforts to practice saying these simple words, and meaning them.
“I’m sorry”. Of the four sentences, I think this one is the easiest for me to say. I am an emotional man and this is the one sentence that expresses an emotion. I am far from perfect, as we all are, and I have many opportunities to apologize for my mistakes. To apologize for doing wrong despite my earnest efforts to do what is right. I offer a truly heartfelt apology. The hard work comes from the fact that being sincerely sorry is seldom, if ever, enough. It is a first step toward committing to changing the things about myself that lead me to take wrong action, or make a particular mistake.
I think each of these four sentences offers a similar challenge. Having made any of these statements, we are then called to take action. “I was wrong”, was harder work for me. I’ve learned to say this almost as often as I need to, and it has been a humbling experience. I’ve tried so hard to do what is right, that there have been times when admitting that I am wrong has been very difficult for me. I’m grateful that I’ve learned that with “I was wrong”, I can give myself permission to make adjustments, or begin again, in my quest to do what is right.
“I need help”, is the one of these that I’ve been working on with the least success for the longest time. When I was a young teenager, my dear older sister, Nancy, first encouraged me to ask for help more often. I was walking, or riding my bike, miles to visit a friend, and Nancy tried to help me understand that I could ask her for a ride. From this simple beginning, I have worked to ask for help when I need it, but it’s still common for me to prefer to do things myself instead of asking others for help. As you can imagine, this is one of the reasons that delegating work has been more challenging for me. I’m glad to say that I’ve made real progress in this area over the years. At the same time, I’m sure I’ll need to keep working on the wisdom I can gain by asking for help.
“I don’t know”, is one of the most freeing of these four sentences for me. I grew up being praised for my intelligence, and have often been the one in my family who others turn to for answers. I’ve even been kidded about being “the keeper of all useless bits of knowledge” by my kids. I do know many things, and I’m happy and proud to have enjoyed accumulating knowledge during my life. The great thing about “I don’t know”, is that it helps me identify areas where I can learn more. After all, learning about, and researching, new things is something I really enjoy! “I don’t know” also gives others the opportunity to share their knowledge, and this is a wonderful way to learn, and to build relationships.
I never know when I will encounter something that helps me grow. I’m glad I found this sentences that lead to wisdom in a wonderfully written murder mystery. Louise Penny says that these books are inspired by two lines from W.H. Auden’s elegy, “Herman Melville”.
“Goodness existed, that was the new knowledge
his terror had to blow itself quite out to let him see it.”
In the face of even the terrifying evil of murder, Armand Gamache can see the goodness that exists. No wonder I like this character! My belief in the fundamental goodness of people is one of the most important parts of my world view. By practicing his four sentences that lead to wisdom, I have been able to improve my own goodness, and my ability to see, and encourage, goodness in others. I’m grateful to Louise Penny for giving me a new way to look at these ideas, and for the enjoyment I’ve found in reading her books. I’m very grateful to my dear book buddy for introducing me to so many wonderful books! I know that reading will be a lovely part of my retirement.
In the face of even the terrifying evil of murder, Armand Gamache can see the goodness that exists. No wonder I like this character! My belief in the fundamental goodness of people is one of the most important parts of my world view. By practicing his four sentences that lead to wisdom, I have been able to improve my own goodness, and my ability to see, and encourage, goodness in others. I’m grateful to Louise Penny for giving me a new way to look at these ideas, and for the enjoyment I’ve found in reading her books. I’m very grateful to my dear book buddy for introducing me to so many wonderful books! I know that reading will be a lovely part of my retirement.
© 2017 James Michael. The text of this work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0
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