“It's time to go home, and wonder what happened betwixt and between when I went to work in tall buildings” - John Hartford
As I plan to retire, I’ve been enjoying the opportunity to talk with friends and loved ones about retirement. I’ve had time over the past couple months to talk with more of them, and to talk more with dear wife and other loved ones. I am learning some very helpful things from these kind people about what retirement will be like and how I can best prepare for it. I’ve also received some gentle suggestions that I may be over-analyzing this process, and that is very likely true!

One of my friends, a teacher, shared that he’d had about 30 mini-retirements during the summer to help him get used to the change from daily work to managing his own time. Even with this, one of the lessons he had to share with me is to watch out for overbooking my time. While I have this notion that I will have more time in retirement, and I will, I may still find myself amazed that I only have one day in a given week when I am free to get together with a friend. “It all has to do with time”, he said to me, and I know he is right. We both value having the time to do something well and completely, and he tells that’s not always easy, even in retirement.

Many people have told me that I’m likely to have the experience described by the time-honored phrase, “I don’t know how I had time to work!” My wonderful partner has gently warned me that I’ve “probably got about 48 hours planned for each day”, and another good friend has advised me to make a list of things I want and need to do, and to expect that list to change, as my priorities certainly will.

I know that there will be chores to do as we work to keep our home clean and maintained, and the bills paid. Ever since I first heard the “Thomas the Tank Engine” stories when our boys were little, I’ve identified with Thomas’ desire to be “a useful engine.” It’s clear that I’ll still have plenty of chances to do this in retirement! I will need to take time for doctor’s appointments and other routine tasks that will require a drive into the city. I will want to make time to do things my loved ones want or need from me. There will be opportunities and obligations that haven’t occurred to me yet and all of these will take time.

I’ve heard lots of very helpful advice about how I can retire in a way that will help me continue to enjoy the wonderful relationships that I share with my loved ones. I laughed when a friend offered the advice from a sign hanging in his home, “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your wife told you to do it,” but I also know this is funny because of the grain of truth it contains! Sue is the one who has the most experience with being retired, and the most practical knowledge of how things really work at home. Listening to her will continue to be a good idea! A good friend advised me to make sure that I recognize and understand Sue's wants and needs and those of our sons, and shared that this is even more important once we are retired, as we are each more “fixed in terms of where we are heading”. It will be important to make sure we work out our space and time agreements, and honor those. We’ll each want some alone time and some together time, and we’ll each have things we want to do together and things we want to do apart.

Some of the other good pieces of advice I’ve received include to walk away from my job, turn it over to those who will continue the work, and not reach out to check on how they are doing. I think I’ll be OK with this as I’m ready to turn things over, and I have a lot of confidence in those who will be carrying on. My friend suggested that if they want to reach out to me, that’s fine. I’m comfortable with this idea, and I’ll also be watching to make sure I’m not getting pulled back into the world of work more that I want to.

A friend has advised me to watch out that I don’t worry about my finances to the point that this interferes with what we really want to do. I think this is really good advice for me. We’ve been very careful as we’ve worked with our financial planner, and I do tend to worry about finances. I think we should be able to enjoy our retirement. I’ll be watching out that I don’t worry more than I should, and that we prioritize the things that really matter to us. I’ve had several friends tell me that staying active will help me stay healthy in retirement, and I do plan to stay active physically, mentally, and in my relationships with others. A good friend told me “know yourself and be yourself”. That sounds like good advice!

I want to remember the wisdom of loved ones who’ve shared with me that it’s likely, to the point of certainty, that retirement will require some adjustment from everyone in our family as we get used to this new pattern of life. I think I’ll be better prepared if I expect that there will be times at first when my beloved wife and sons find it challenging to have me retired. I know for certain that they love me, are happy for me, and are glad that I am getting to retire and come home. I’ll do my best not to take it personally when they’re not so sure what to make of having me there! I’ll also take the good advice I’ve received to get out of the house and give the family a break as I enjoy other activities.

As I near retirement, I’m also finding that some of the songs I’ve heard about this transition in life are more meaningful to me. Some of my favorites are “18-Wheels and a Dozen Roses”, written by Paul and Gene Nelson, and recorded by Kathy Mattea, Cyril Tawney’s “Grey Funnel Line”, and “Quartzite”, by Dave Morrison. As a singer and songwriter myself, music is often one of the most meaningful ways I express myself. Maybe my most favorite song about retirement is John Hartford’s “In Tall Buildings.” I’ve loved John’s music ever since I first heard him on the Glen Campbell show many years ago, and I’m glad our family got to attend a taping of the show, and to hear John sing there. I’ll include the lyrics to this song below, with the second verse I wrote and sing when I perform it. I hope John, and his family, wouldn’t mind my adding those words. I think of him every time I sing this song.

I’m so grateful for everyone who gave me their time, and their thoughts, as I sought to learn about, and plan for, my retirement. Their generosity and thoughtfulness will always be part of turning this page for me. I especially appreciate their good wishes for my finding this new chapter of my life satisfying and joyful. In less than three weeks, I’ll be off on this new adventure and I’ll look forward to sharing parts of it will all of them.

In Tall Buildings - John Hartford

(second verse lyrics by Jim Michael)

Someday my baby, when I am a man,

and others have taught me
the best that they can
they'll sell me a suit
they’ll cut off my hair
and send me to work in tall buildings

So it's goodbye to the sunshine
goodbye to the dew
goodbye to the flowers
and goodbye to you
I'm off to the subway
I must not be late
I’m going to work in tall buildings

I’ll go to the office, five days of the week,

I’ll work for my paycheck
‘til I’m an antique
evenings and weekends
I’ll come home to you
home from my work in tall buildings

And it's goodbye to the sunshine

goodbye to the dew
goodbye to the flowers
and goodbye to you
I'm off to the subway
I must not be late
I’m going to work in tall buildings

When I’m retired

My life is my own
I’ve made all the payments
it's time to go home
and wonder what happened
betwixt and between
when I went to work in tall buildings

So it's goodbye to the sunshine
goodbye to the dew
goodbye to the flowers
and goodbye to you
I'm off to the subway
I must not be late
I’m going to work in tall buildings


© 2017 James Michael. The text of this work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0