“You can please some of the people all of the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time” - attributed to John Lydgate

Lately, I’ve been part of a team working to pursue changes to our IT organization and to the services that we provide to students, faculty, staff, and administrators on our campus. During one recent meeting, a participant commented on the need to improve the reputation of our organization and on how dissatisfied people are with our services. Although it probably shouldn't have, this caught me off guard and I found myself feeling angry and disrespected. This experience inspired me to write today about the challenge of meeting the expectations of a large and diverse set of customers with limited IT resources. I’m sure this challenge is all too familiar to most people working in IT!

First, let me say that I probably shouldn’t have taken that remark as personally as I did. The person who made it has less experience here than I do, and has recognized in other comments that most people you talk with on campus express appreciation for the quality of the people in our organization, for how hard they work, and for the challenge we face in meeting the needs of the campus with the resources we have available. While I probably shouldn’t have let this comment bother me as much as it did, I am glad on one level that I did take it personally. This is that I did so because I care a lot about the people on our team and about the good work they do for our campus.

At a later meeting, the person who made that comment apologized to the group for not remembering to honor all the work that has gone into improving our services in recent years, and the progress we've made. The team had a good conversation about these issues and about the importance of remembering to honor the past while working together to make a better future. I'm grateful that we are building trust and can discuss issues like these openly.

As with so many other products and services, IT services will not satisfy every user all of the time. I wish they could! I’d propose that our goal should be to satisfy most people, most of the time, by working to understand their changing needs and working to ensure we can respond to those effectively within a reasonable period of time. In the process, we will likely satisfy all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but those will be fortunate side-effects of our main efforts.

No matter how hard we work, or how well we communicate and prepare, there will be times when we fail to satisfy those we serve. At these times, it will be even more important that we communicate to understand where we are falling short, set reasonable expectations of what we can deliver, and learn how we can change our approach to improve in the future.

There will also be times when we need to recognize that our limitations, in resources, scope of support, or other areas, mean we will not be able to provide all that is desired. At these times, communication will be even more important. We need honest conversations with those we serve about the limitations we face and about their priorities so that we can direct limited resources where they will provide the most benefit. We need to communicate with our customers and employees to set expectations as clearly as possible so that staff can take satisfaction from meeting these and customers can participate in setting priorities.

We also need to engage with our managers, and senior executives, as we work to align the priorities of our customers with the strategic goals of the organization. The more clearly we can understand the operational challenges we face, the better prepared we are to plan together to meet them. The better we can document unmet needs, and provide data to describe the scale and scope of these, the more effectively we can advocate for change that will allow us to address them. Sometimes, this will take the form of better understanding and communication, and priorities that make wiser use of resources. If we can make a strong enough case for the value of IT in meeting these needs, it can also lead to a greater investment of resources for this purpose.

Ultimately, the extent to which we satisfy those we serve will depend on our response to their needs. This includes quick responses to their requests that let us understand what is needed and set clear expectations as to what we will deliver. It includes honest communication about how soon we will be able to fulfill each request, and about any challenges we face in meeting their requirements. It also includes advocating effectively for those we serve and participating in negotiating priorities to help secure results that provide the greatest benefit.

As we do our best to please as many as we can, John Lydgate’s words remind us that it has been well known for over 550 years that we will not please everyone. Most often those we please will not make a point of telling us so. This is as it should be. They are receiving the service we’ve asked them to expect. Very often those we displease will tell others and they may tell us as well.  I think it is important that we keep this in mind as we evaluate the work of IT staff, and communicate with them about the service we provide and the reputation we earn together.

Over the years, we’ve engaged faculty to conduct a series of surveys to measure people's use of, and satisfaction with, IT services on our campus, and the results have consistently shown that most were satisfied, or very satisfied, with these services. It’s been a few years since the last survey and we are preparing to conduct a new baseline survey very soon. I’ll be very interested to see what that reveals. I am confident that the vast majority of my colleagues working in IT at our university are dedicated to providing the best service they can. With good data on the results of our efforts, we can work together to help ensure we please as many as we can. We can also help ensure that the hard work of these good people earns them the honor and respect they deserve.

I’m sure we’ll have an open and honest conversation about the results of this survey. I know none of us want to prove the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln’s famous paraphrase of Lydgate when he is reported to have said, “You can fool some of the people all of the time, you can fool all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time”. I'm sure none of us really want to fool anyone, especially ourselves!

In the end, we’ll do our best to please, and satisfy, those we serve when we work with them as partners and colleagues in mutual understanding. Whenever I think of this opportunity, I remember a very wonderful old sign that hung behind the counter at our favorite Italian delicatessen. It read:

“If we fail to please you, please tell us. If we do please you, please tell others!”

Is it so small a thing
To have enjoy'd the sun,
To have lived light in the spring,
To have loved, to have thought, to have done;
To have advanced true friends...
- from Matthew Arnold’s poem "From The Hymn Of Empedocles”

I am writing today, on this first full day of spring, the essay I will post tomorrow on the 43rd of my last 100 Mondays. Here at our home, Whisperwood, the day has dawned bright and sunny. I see the flowers blooming in our garden, the boughs of the cedar trees and the bright yellow daffodils swaying in a gentle breeze, and I hear the birds calling as I write. I feel happy and content, and I am very aware of how much I look forward to retiring and spending more time with my loved ones in this beautiful place.

The changing of the seasons has always held special significance for me and I look forward to each new chapter as the years roll by. Each season holds its own special beauty and significance and I enjoy feeling the natural rhythms of life moving around, and through, me.

Reflecting today on the enjoyment this brings me also has me thinking about how I consciously work to notice the things that bring me joy and peace. This has been an important choice for me as I work to keep my balance and perspective. While I feel satisfaction when the work I do makes a difference, and gratitude that it allows me to earn a living for my family, it has also been a significant source of stress and worry for me. When I let it, this stress and worry can rob my life of joy and peace, and put an uneasy distance between my loved ones and me.

I’ve written before about how I choose to include things in my office that help me remember what matters most as one way to keep my balance and perspective. Another way that I do this is to notice the beauty and power of nature around me as I travel to and from my work an hour’s drive from Whisperwood, and as I walk on the hills, and under the starry skies, of home.

Taking time to travel with my loved ones gives me even more opportunities to find my right place in the scheme of things, especially since many of our favorite destinations offer the grandeur of nature in our national parks and wilderness areas. There is nothing quite like a sky full of bright stars, the beautiful power of the ocean, a peaceful sunset on a lake with calling loons, or the feeling of being surrounded by mountains, canyons or wide-open spaces to help me relax into my proper place.

As long as I can remember, I’ve been most comfortable being part of something larger than myself. While I have accepted the role of leader, I have never felt comfortable holding power or being treated as disproportionately important. I would rather give credit to those who join me as part of the team, and of the work, and I look forward to turning over my share of leadership responsibilities to those who will take on the role I hold today. The greatest stress and pressure I’ve experienced has been when I felt that I might fail to do my part in the work when others were counting on me, and especially when they were looking to me as their leader to find the best way forward.

At times, the stress of my responsibilities has threatened my health and my family. I know that my own choices about how to respond to the demands of my work, and to the stress it has created, are very important in controlling this potential threat. I have learned to make choices that help keep my family, and myself, safe more of the time. Seeking balance and perspective has been the most important choice of all.

When I notice the power of nature around me, I can see that I am a very small part of something so much larger and more wonderful than I am. I am touched by how amazing it is that I have deep connections with my loved ones that bring us close amidst the awesome beauty and scope of the universe around us. I look up at the night sky, see a mere fraction of the billion trillion stars that surround us, and I can sometimes feel the planet we share with billions of other people moving under me. To have found these beloved ones among so many, and to have opened my heart to them, and been welcomed into their hearts, feels like some mysterious miracle.

The astounding beauty of the smallest flower, sunlight sparkling on the water, love shining in the eyes of a loved one holding a precious child, voices raised together in song, the quiet of night in the forest, and so many other moments just waiting to be noticed and appreciated, can bring this same feeling of wonder and balance. To share these with my loved ones fills my heart to overflowing. To have some time to spend alone, or simply quiet, to reflect on what truly matters, and to refresh my spirit, helps me settle into my proper place again. When I see myself in perspective, one small part of something greater, I can more easily let go of all I cannot control and reclaim the energy I would otherwise lose in struggling to be something I am not.

This day when I can recognize the seasons changing is a precious reminder that I can find my place by opening my eyes and heart to the world around me. I also enjoy two sets of seasons because I’ve long preferred the Celtic calendar that has spring beginning on Imbolc, around February 1, and summer starting on Beltane, or May Day. I enjoy that this calendar places the spring and autumn equinoxes, and the summer and winter solstices, in the middle of their seasons. It just feels right to me that the longest day is truly Midsummer's Day and that this bright sunny day, with its equal portions of light and darkness, falls in the middle of springtime.

In a similar way, it feels most right to me when I find myself as one part of a larger team, and as one small soul in the middle of something immense and wonderful that seems to go on forever. The seasons will always roll by and I will appreciate the way they help me keep my balance.

“A nation divided against itself cannot stand.” - Abraham Lincoln

Today, I am thinking about the rising feeling of division here in the U.S. as our election season continues. I don’t intend to write about political parties here or to support, or oppose, any candidate and I will mention no candidates by name. I will do that kind of writing elsewhere. In this essay, I write about how letting ourselves be divided by false distinctions is destructive to progress and how coming together with respect for our legitimate differences will always lead to better outcomes. I believe this applies to all candidates, parties, and leaders, and to all of us.

I believe this is true across the full spectrum of human interaction from the most intimate personal connections, to our relationships with our family and loved ones, our engagement with colleagues in the workplace, efforts within our communities, and responsibilities as citizens of our nations and the world. I believe this principle holds true for the relations between nations, cultures, genders, races, religions and groups of all kinds, and our relationship as a species with the other creatures that inhabit our world and the environment we share.

Certainly, we do have legitimate differences. We are of different genders, sexual orientations, races, ethnicities and cultures. We hold different religious beliefs and our values may lead us to pursue our desire to do what is right in different ways. We speak different languages, are of different ages and life experiences, and have different abilities. We have come from, and live in, different places, and we have a wide range of personalities and personal preferences.

Sometimes, these differences can contribute to our disagreeing about important things. Where we recognize these legitimate differences I believe we are best served by coming together with respect, and open minds, to explore them together. We may find ways to build bridges between us and establish common ground. At times, it will be necessary within our nation, or within the community of nations, to pursue policies designed to correct injustice and we must act with courage and conviction to achieve that objective. Even then, we must seek to remain engaged with those who disagree. Where we must continue to disagree, I hope we can do this with mutual respect and without building walls between us. If we must have walls, even in our minds, may they include windows so that our disagreements are enlightened by our different views. May they have open doors so that the option of revisiting our differences with respect also remains open.

While we do have legitimate differences, I believe there is far more that we have in common. When researchers have looked at some fundamental differences, like gender and race, they find much more evidence for our similarities than our differences. In each of these cases, and many other ways that we differ, the differences between individuals is far greater than any difference between the groups as a whole.

Certainly, there are social and cultural differences in how people experience race, ethnicity, and gender, for example, and in how we treat one another based on belonging to different groups. I contend that much of this difference in treatment is based on false distinctions and that it is appropriate that we work to replace these with real understanding. I also believe that, while there may be significant differences between cultures in how we act on our beliefs, we share very similar underlying values. My review of different religious teachings provides one example where this is clearly true.

It seems clear to me that the vast majority of us share concerns about poverty, crime, violence, harassment, discrimination and intimidation. We share a belief in wanting the best for our children and loved ones, in the importance of liberty, education, integrity, civility, equity, respect, ethical behavior, and addressing the needs of those who are disabled, ill, or threatened. I am confident that most of us value a safe and healthy environment.

I believe we essentially agree about what is fundamentally important and, in the U.S., we participate in a government based on key principles aligned with these values. Our nation was founded on the basis that all are “created equal”, have “certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” and that governments are instituted to secure these rights. The intent of our constitution, “to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity”, is clearly consistent with these goals.

While I believe we agree on what is important, I also recognize that we do not always agree on how these important values should be upheld. We differ with regard to the role of governmental, religious, community, and charitable organizations. We may disagree more often about how to solve these problems and respond to these vital needs. Because we are bound to disagree, it is vitally important that we find a way to do so effectively. I believe we must work to understand each other, our beliefs and opinions, so that we focus on legitimate differences and not false distinctions.

When we approach others with disregard, or disrespect, for our legitimate differences, we damage our ability to work together. Unnecessary conflict, and a lack of respectful, civil, engagement as we explore our apparent disagreements, hinders our progress in support of our shared values and goals. Far worse is allowing ourselves to fall victim to false distinctions. When we stand opposed to one another because of differences between us that either do not actually exist, or that are not significant to the things we truly value, we lose the opportunity to work together to achieve our common objectives.

Allowing others, especially those who would claim a position of leadership, to play on our fears, and divide us, by exploiting such false distinctions is tragic. The behavior of those who would divide us in this way is disgraceful and has no place in our public life as a nation. We must reject it and those who attempt use us in this way. Their behavior corrupts the vital public dialog about important issues that is essential to the continuing health of our nation. We must reject those who say to us “You must support me because we are different from them” and instead choose leaders who seek our support because we believe the ideas they propose will be better for all of us.

I’ve touched on aspects of diversity in a number of these essays. In the workplace, I believe the ways that we are different can make us stronger. I think the same is true for couples, families, friends, and larger groups including nations. Instead of respecting our differences and helping us grow stronger together, today some are using false distinctions in an effort to inflame hatred, divide us, and gain political support. I hope we can not only reject hate but grow past it to recognize that there is so much more we share than there is that divides us. We must learn to disagree civilly again so we can best move forward together as a nation. I hope you will join me in rejecting hate in all forms including its use as a political tool.

"Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born." - Nikola Tesla

"But you must give him some sign, some sign that you love him... or he'll never be a man. All his life he'll feel guilty and alone unless you release him." - John Steinbeck from "East of Eden"

I’ve been listening to Patti Smith read her book, “M Train”, and hearing her reflections about her life lived alone since the passing of her husband, Fred, has me thinking about my own relationship with being alone. I've also been thinking of a dear friend of my heart who seems to have a more developed awareness of the value of being alone, or quiet, with herself. I'm glad Patti Smith’s book triggered these thoughts and I respect and value what my friend has helped me learn about my own relationship with being alone.

Thanks to a book and a special friend, I’m writing today about how being alone is part of leadership. Deciding and acting alone as a leader has been difficult, necessary, and sometimes rewarding. When it has been rewarding, that has usually been because it has allowed me to do what I felt was right in ways that benefited those I have served. To the extent that it has allowed me to be a person of which my loved ones can be proud, I am very grateful.

When I am aware of how being alone feels to me, I realize that there is a self-absorption, or maybe self awareness, that I have when I am alone more than when I am with others. I sometimes feel this, too, when I am with others but we are quietly engaged in our own thoughts or pursuits. I don't usually feel lonely when I am alone. Sometimes I do experience a discomfort with how keenly aware I can become of my own thoughts, feelings, and history.

As I've grown, I have become more able to sit with this discomfort and to recognize it as a simple reality that is part of my experience. It is often the beginning of a deeper awareness that opens up like a flower. I also find that most of my inspiration for writing music, prose, or poetry, comes when I am alone and slowly blooms in a similar way. Time alone, or quiet, can provide peace and a space to think, feel, and regain my energy. I'm content with these feelings today and also aware that my relationship with them will continue and change throughout my life.

Being alone as a leader is a different part of my experience of being alone. I’ve found that the farther “up” the management hierarchy I’ve moved, the more I have become apart from those I lead while still working to remain as connected to them, and the work we do together, as I can. While I am still a part of the team, and while my approach to leadership emphasizes seeking input from those I lead, I am still alone in being responsible for the decisions I make and the consequences of those decisions. The results of our collective action belong to us all and I give the credit for our positive impact to the team. I consider the responsibility for negative outcomes, or inadequate action, primarily mine and I accept any criticism as input to help me lead more effectively.

I’ve heard it said that it is lonely at the top, but most of the time I wouldn’t agree. I have had lots of company from those I lead as they come to me for guidance, with problems, or proposals. We spend a great deal of time together in meetings, collaborating to identify solutions and plan projects, and I meet with other leaders at, and above, my own level as we pursue our work together. I’ve also had the good fortune to be part of a group of leaders who have been good colleagues, and good company, as we acted on the responsibilities that we each faced alone.

So, while I wouldn’t agree that it is usually lonely at the top, I am very conscious of the feeling of having often been alone when the moment came to make decisions. This feeling has been especially acute when the results of those decisions had significant impact on the personal lives, aspirations, and futures of those who work for me. For all my collaboration and openness to the ideas and proposals of others, the moment of choice is a moment alone, and so are the many moments that have followed some of these choices where I continued to wrestle with whether I had truly done the right thing. I’ve also known many times as a leader when I have felt surrounded, alone in a crowd, and wishing for some real quiet, alone, time when I could look for what is right, and for peace of mind.

My life as a man working to lead IT professionals has been a very busy, and frequently stressful, life. With commuting, the actual work day, being on call for emergencies all these years, and the other demands of my career, I’ve been lucky to have four or five hours each weekday to spend with my wife and family. My illness gave me new perspective and I consciously stepped away from 60-hour weeks to focus more time on what really matters. Weekends, holidays, and vacation have been very precious. I do take time to play music, to spend time with friends, and to go for rides in the country with my dear wife. Time alone, or quiet, has been rare during these years and I’ve even suffered a feeling of disappointment, or even irritation, at missing out on quiet time. I do get some time to write, to work in my wood shop, to walk, and for physical work that keeps my body busy while creating a quiet space to think.

Ultimately, time with our loved ones is so important and with the limited time I have, this is my priority. I take some quiet time, and some time alone, when I can, but I’ll choose time with the family, and with my beloved wife, at the expense of those quiet times. As much as I value that space to think, feel, and recharge, I value the opportunity to be close to my loved ones more. I’m also aware that time with our sons, and the families they form, may be harder to come by in retirement and I know I’d regret missing the chance to spend more time with them while we can.

In the end, this is another situation where choosing what is right means finding a balance that allows me to put my loved ones first, and also remember to treat myself as one of those loved ones. Having the joy of their presence in my life, and remembering why I work, has been the greatest comfort when I have felt alone as a leader. In retirement, I hope to have the luxury of lots of time with my loved ones, and time to make a difference in my community, along with more time for quiet reflection, music, writing and woodworking. We’ll see how that works out!

By the way, the amazing sweater in today's picture was handknit for me by my wonderful wife and partner, Sue. I'm a very lucky man and she is the best part of my luck.