"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” - Marcel Proust

Today I and grateful for the opportunity to give thanks and to reflect on all the many blessings in my life. Yesterday, we returned home after spending the past several days celebrating Thanksgiving with our family near home here in the Sierra Nevada, and a bit farther away in the Bay Area. Oh, how grateful I am for this time with family! Last month our loved ones in Canada celebrated Thanksgiving there and I am glad to share a season of thanksgiving that lasts for weeks and helps me make gratitude part of my daily life.

I am thankful for our loved ones. For my darling wife who is such a wonderful partner in every aspect of the lives we share. For our two fine sons who have grown to be kind and caring men. For all our family and the love we share. I am thankful that ours is a close family both when we are all near at hand, and at those times when we must be far apart. In the past few days, we’ve shared food and laughter, talk and quiet joy with almost all of our immediate family. Soon my dear younger sister and her husband will be back in California after some years abroad, and I know we will all gather together again to celebrate their return.

I am thankful that our loved ones include family members who are among our closest friends, and precious friends who have become family for us. I find the greatest joy, comfort, and fulfillment in my life when I am with these special ones. Even when we are far apart, the thought of them, and memories of all we’ve shared, fill my heart to overflowing with sweet warm love. Sharing our joy together as our families grow, sharing our strength when times are hard, sharing adventures, and quiet times at home helps make my life rich and meaningful. I am grateful for the way we grow closer to our loved ones as the years go by.

I am thankful for all the friends whose generous presence helps bring so much wonderful variety to the act of living. The way that our lives overlap in common interests and values. The places where their delightful differences expand my world with new thoughts, feelings, experiences, and expressions. The chance to care and be cared for. The simple comfort in the voice, smile, presence of a friend.

I am thankful for creativity. For the chance to make music and art, and to experience the artistry of the singers, dancers, makers, and writers. For the process of creation shared and also experienced as a private journey. For the weaving not only of fabric, fiber, and sticks, but of voices, ideas, and feelings. For the artistry of all the ages carefully preserved, and the bright surprise in the flash of new creation.

I am thankful for the opportunity to work and to make a difference. For the people of good character who share our work and those who benefit from it and go on to change the world. I cannot find words good enough to express my thanks for all that work has provided for our family.  I am so grateful that we have go leor, in Irish these words mean “enough”, and humbled that so often we have been blessed with so much more until go leor becomes the abundance of galore.

With my own love of words, I am grateful for language. For books, and the way the carry the thoughts and feelings of those who’ve come before as well as new ones waiting to be explored. For the voices of those with whom I share this time. They comfort me when I am lonely or afraid, and make my gladness greater in the sharing. I am grateful, too, for the quiet times when we can rest and be together. For thoughts and feelings shared in a look, or the gentle touch of a loved one’s hand. I am so thankful that we will share all the time we still have stretching out before us.

I am thankful for compassion and patience. For the chance to show and share it with others, and always to learn more how about how I can best be compassionate and patient. For the precious gift of others compassion for and patience with me. When times are hard, I know there are many loved ones, friends and colleagues who have my back

Most of all, I am thankful for love. Of all the blessings in my life this one, greatest and most fundamental, embraces them all and gives them their sweetness, strength, and meaning. I am one tiny flower on a tree whose roots stretch back through time unmeasured, and whose branches reach out toward eternity. One tiny star gleaming in an endless fabric of wonder. I know, and more than knowing I have faith, that love goes on forever, transcending space and time. That, in love, we are one always and everywhere.

"It is a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you are ready. I have the feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any." - Hugh Laurie

One of the topics my colleagues approach me most often for help with is time management. This isn’t surprising to me as I see how busy they all are, and how many competing demands for their time they face. While I always do my best to help them with ideas for improving their time management skills, I also always acknowledge that this has always been a challenge for me, too!

I’ve written some about this topic in the past and today I will focus entirely on time management and  priority setting. I appreciate the opportunities those who work for, and with, me have given me to think about this topic as we work to improve our skills. I especially appreciate the time I have spent with my protegees in our university’s mentoring program over the past four years talking about time management. It seems likely we will always benefit from finding more effective ways to manage our precious time.

For me, time management and priority setting are inextricably linked. In managing my time, I am always working to make more time available for the most important activities by finding ways to spend less time on things that are less important. There are many well-received approaches to meeting this challenge, including David Allen’s GTD (Getting Things Done) system, Stephanie Winston’s TRAF (Toss, Refer, Act, File) method, and the 4-Ds (Delete, Do, Delegate, Defer) approach that is related to a popular decision matrix that classifies tasks based on their urgency and importance.

Many of these systems, and other approaches, share some common ideas. They all encourage us to delegate work that is better done by others, to act immediately on tasks that will not require significant time, and to recognize that some tasks do not deserve our time and attention. They also recognize that some work should be deferred to later, and provide guidance to help us get organized in how we manage that work. Some also provide ideas for how file the information we receive that is not actionable. They all recognize the importance of understanding the difference between urgency and importance represented by diagrams like this one.

Another interesting approach to time management is one called personal kanban. This method is based on the Japanese manufacturing system pioneered by Toyota in the late 1940s. Personal kanban focuses on one aspect of this approach and uses the idea of a “kanban board” with three zones. Work “to do”, work “in progress”, and work that is “done”. This approach also borrows the idea of using a “queue limiter”, that some also refer to as a “kanban number” to define the number of tasks can be in progress at any given time. The essential ideas here are that each person has their own number of simultaneous tasks they can work on, and that any time a task can no longer be worked on effectively it should be moved back to the “to do” queue and replaced with another task that is ready to do.

The key with all these systems is to recognize the best way to deal with each task or demand we are presented with throughout the day. I’ve also found it very helpful to check in with myself to verify that I am spending my time in the most appropriate way. It’s not uncommon for me to find that I’ve drifted into doing things that seem urgent, but aren’t that important. It’s also vital to honor the time I schedule for the important, but not urgent, work of building relationships, maintaining my health, thinking through strategic or meaningful issues, and similar work.

As I’ve worked with others on time management, I usually start by talking with them about the challenges they are facing with time management and options for meeting those challenges. I often hear about the competing demands of multiple projects and priorities, and balancing the needs of different people including the boss, key stakeholders, and our students. We almost always discuss the challenge of finding a good balance between the demands of work and the time we want to devote to our loved ones and life goals. I’ve found that knowing what you consider important is vital to good time management.

I share some of the ideas I’ve written about above and assign homework to my colleague asking them to look at some of these systems, and other resources, to see which seem to fit best with their own approach to work. I’ve also found it useful in some cases to arrange, or even facilitate, some discussions with others about time management techniques that work for them.

Once they have chosen some tools to use, we work to help them adopt these tools, monitor their effectiveness, and talk through the inevitable challenges that crop up. I’ve also found that coming to grips with the idea of what is important, versus simply urgent, usually helps people have more effective conversations with those they serve, or share their lives with, about setting priorities and managing their time to achieve common goals.

In my experience, the process of working to improve how we manage our time to make the greatest difference is never ending. There is always more we could do than we have time to do, and our understanding of what is truly important evolves over time. Ultimately, I’ve found that the goal of effective time management is entirely consistent with my desire to make a difference and to do what is right with love. I’ll always be seeking the best choices, and I know that retirement will bring me brand new opportunities to make the most of my time. I’m going to make sure to include lots of time for my loved ones, time in nature, and quiet moments with my own thoughts and feelings.

"Love is not a being-for-itself quality but a quality by which or in which you are for others." - Søren Kierkegaard, "Works of Love", 1847

Today, I have some thoughts to share about a theme that keeps recurring in these reflections. Doing what is right, with love. Two women I love and respect have shared thoughts recently that helped keep clear to me important things I must remember today. Each of them emphasizes aspects of this simple, and powerful, approach to life, and the choices I must make. Parts that come together to make a greater whole.

One of the women I love wrote, “I have studied history for the better part of my life. I have become a scholar in some areas and have developed casual interests in others. What I have learned from my studies is that there are always two sides to every story. There have been stories of evil, malice, and contempt as well as love, compassion, and morality on both sides of each historical event. History was made the other day. Historians, teachers, and students will look back on that day as a profound shift in American history. All I ask while we are living through these times, no matter what side of history you are on make sure you are an example of love, compassion, and morality.” I take her words to mean that, whatever actions I choose, I must act with love, compassion, and morality.

Another woman I love has said to me, “Being an example of love, compassion, and morality is not enough. Clearly, we are going to have to stand up and fight for it.” I take her words to mean that all the love, compassion, and morality in the world can come to nothing without action.

I know beyond question that both of these women are right, and I hope I have a good understanding of what they are saying. I believe that they would agree with each other about the underlying truth they are both expressing in different ways. I believe they are both calling me to live my commitment to doing what is right with love. I see no conflict between fighting for what is right and acting with love, compassion and morality, and I don’t believe they do either. In fact, I think it could be that there is no way to do the one without doing the other.

When a mother stands up for her children, fighting for them and protecting them with her whole being, or when a father does, I am certain they are acting in love. When we stand up for those who are marginalized because they are in the minority, and are being treated as the “other”, when we fight for equality and equity for them, I am certain we are acting with compassion. When we seek right action in our fighting for a better world for our children and grandchildren, our families, our neighbors, and people we barely know, or may never meet, I am certain our search to do what is right is an exercise in morality.

I absolutely believe that we will only make the world better by standing up for what is right. By working for it. By fighting for it when we must. I believe we must confront injustice and inequality wherever they exist, and that the responsibility to confront them is an obligation we must accept and commit to if we expect to be loving, compassionate and moral human beings. This is an obligation that transcends all other categorizations, classifications, and allegiances.

How we confront these challenges will change over time, depending on our ability to act, the opportunity we have to influence change, our own level of commitment and courage, and the risks we are willing to take. Our awareness, and understanding, of the issues we face will impact our willingness to act, and our ability to identify, and take, right action, and so we have a responsibility to raise our awareness and educated ourselves. We are, each of us, far from perfect and we can always learn from our experience and the experiences of others.

Our society is far from perfect. There are many among us who have reason to fear. They fear that they will be discriminated against, face violence, see their children’s futures diminished, and suffer other wrongs because they are seen, and treated as the “other”. They fear for their economic security, their access to health care, their future. They fear when faced with inequality and inequity. And they stand up and face their fear as the act to seek an equal, and equitable, share of the freedom and opportunity we are so proud our nation, at its best, can represent. As women in a society where men are privileged. As people of color in a society where white people are privileged. As poor people in a society where rich people are privileged. As immigrants, Muslims, refugees, disabled people, LGBTQ people, and others who have reason to feel marginalized and treated as “other” and “less than”.

I like the way U2 calls us to action in their song “Invisible” where they sing, “There is no them, there's only us.” If only it could feel this way to so many who know for sure there that “they” are powerful, privileged, and threatening. If only it could feel this way to those who treat others who appear different as though they are not part of “us”. How I long for a world where this aspiration becomes reality.

I know that, as an old white man, I must look like “them” to some of the young women and others on campus who see mine as the face of privilege. In some way I suppose it is. While I choose to do my best daily to do what is right with love by acting to support increasing equality and equity for all, still I am a person who has had advantages because I am white, and because I am male. I am not one of the “angry old white men” who would fight to keep these privileges and deny equality to others. Because I am not, I feel I must work, and act in love, even more to use my privileged position for good.

There are people I love and respect who sometimes find my belief in a loving approach too soft,  and who doubt my chances of making effective change this way. I understand this but respectfully disagree. I believe that beginning from a position of love as I choose my actions is essential. That standing up, and even fighting, for what is right with love will always be more powerful than acting without love.

We will not always agree on what is right, moral, compassionate, or even loving. Each of us must make our own choices about where we stand and how we will act on our beliefs. Still, any position, action, or choice that would lead us to treat others as “less than” instead of “equal to” does not seem right to me. We are different from one another. Diverse in our fundamental humanity and equality. This is one of our greatest strengths. Loving is not enough, yet love is essential. Acting is not enough, yet action is essential. For me, the answer is to do my best, always, to do what is right, with love.

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” - Henry Van Dyke

Today, I’m thinking about some things that have made me feel happy and grateful about the work I’ve done in my career. These thoughts seem to focus most on the way my work has allowed our family to have the life we have, on my gratitude to have worked with good people, and on the opportunity work has given me to make a difference. I’m also very grateful for the things I’ve learned about how we can work together to make a difference in the world around us.

My deepest gratitude is for the chance to do useful work that has allow our family to have such a good life. We have all we need, and more besides. We can take time to travel and relax. We’ve been able to help our sons get a good start in life, and we enjoy close relationships with family and friends. We live in a beautiful place and we are healthy and happy.

I’m so happy to have a wonderful partner to share the work of caring for our family. She is the best part of my luck and I know her loving guidance, and their own fine characters, are the most important reason our sons have grown to be fine, caring, men. I so admire the work she has done to make a difference for children, as a teacher, and a volunteer for the National Park Service, and appreciate the opportunity I’ve had to support her in that work. Most of all, I am grateful to be so very happy with my darling Sue. Together, we’ve made a wonderful life.

I’m grateful for the people I’ve worked with in county government, in banking, higher education, and as a volunteer at SHARE. I’ve been fortunate to work with so many hard-working, intelligent people of good character who really care about how our work helps others. In each of these spheres, the way the work matters is different, but in the end doing our work well and for the right reasons allowed us to make a difference for those we served, and for each other. In the process, I’ve found some great friends, and my wife and I have made some special friendships that will last a lifetime.

I’m also very grateful for the the people I’ve worked for in my career. With very few exceptions, they’ve taught me, challenged me, and helped me grow. They’ve supported and advocated for the work we needed to do together and helped me learn to do the same for those who’ve worked for me. They have taught me so much and I've strived to honor their example.

I’m especially grateful, and happy, to have had the opportunity to serve the people we’ve really worked for, and for how we’ve worked to make a difference. At the county, we served the citizens in myriad different ways by helping deliver the services they needed. In banking, we worked to help people save and invest for their futures, and to keep their money safe and ready to work for them. Most satisfying of all, was the work we’ve done for the students at our university. Watching them grow and move on to pursue their lives is one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve had in my career.

Making a difference matters even when we won’t really know exactly how our work has helped others. As I walked through the halls of one of our science buildings earlier this fall, and across campus back to my office, I was struck again by an awareness of our students and the potential they represent. I walked past their smiling, worried, sometimes preoccupied faces and made eye contact when I could to share a smile. I found myself wondering what their futures will bring and what difference each will make in my lifetime and beyond.

I realized that I was looking at people who might help cure cancer, help save our planet, bring new creative expressions to life, and help us understand one another better. I also saw them as individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses, confidence and insecurity, hope, fear, and love. I wish them well and I’d have them know that they gave me hope on that sunny day and that I am proud of them and what they do at our university.

I’m happy to have learned some wonderful things in my career about working with others. Thanks to the opportunities I’ve had, I’ve learned so much about collaborating together to allow us each to apply our skills, experience and creativity. I’ve learned about leading and serving others. I’ve learned that the opportunity to make a difference is a great gift.

Perhaps one of the things I am most grateful for that my career has helped me earn is time. While I’ve worked, this has been time on weekends, holidays, and vacations. As I retire, my work will have earned me a new kind of time. Choosing how I spend this time will be one of my greatest opportunities in retirement. I will be grateful always for the gift of time for family, and for friends. Time to travel, and walk in nature. Time to think, and to visit, and to sit quietly with my loved ones. Time to laugh, and love, and live. I have so much to be grateful for.