“Nothing so conclusively proves a man's ability to lead others as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” - Thomas J. Watson

As I continue reflecting on what has mattered about my work, how I feel about what I have done, and how the way we work together shapes our lives, I realize that much of what I write will be about what I've learned about managing myself. Much of this is about the choices I make. A good test that I use to help me choose wisely is to ask myself whether my actions will reflect my values and contribute to the mission and goals of the university.

I find it interesting that it is often easier for me to assess whether my choices seem right in terms of my values than to measure them against our mission and objectives. It is easier for me to see whether I can personally stand behind a choice as honest, ethical and conscientious of the needs of both the organization and the people involved. To understand how choices align with our mission requires me to consider information, emotional intelligence, and respectful engagement with colleagues.  While I have a clear sense of my own values, there can be a wide range of opinions about what will best serve the university.

It can be very challenging to balance the competing interests reflected in these diverse opinions. It is often necessary to choose actions that place greater demands on staff in the short term in order to achieve results that will benefit us all in the long term.  At the same time I must act as an advocate for those I serve in my role as manager and argue for priorities that respect the limits of our capacity. Often this means shaping what we are agreeing to so that we can serve competing demands. I’m not as successful in saying “no” as I wish I were!

I also find myself arguing against priorities advanced by other managers, and even senior leaders, where I don’t believe these will best contribute to our shared mission. In the best cases, these are discussions about how we balance limited resources with ambitious goals and they can result in changes to our priorities or help to identify new resources. In the more difficult cases, I find myself questioning whether the priorities being advanced serve our shared objectives or are aligned with the narrower goals of one unit or manager. These situations can require great tact and patience and usually lead me to reexamine my own position to ensure I’m not the one advocating for self interest.

Often, I find that I can move the various parties toward agreement by fostering a clearer understanding of our mission and goals and an open discussion of how the competing priorities would contribute to these. While some colleagues are most comfortable with decisions based on data and analysis, I usually find that there is an emotional component to these discussions. Even while arguing for a position supported by information, people are also motivated by fear of negative outcomes, discomfort with change, loyalty to valued colleagues, and other, entirely valid, feelings. I find that by bringing both the objective and subjective aspects to the surface can help identify where there are points of concern and opportunities to resolve these. It can be particularly satisfying to learn that two people who appear to be arguing for opposing views are actually arguing for the same thing from different perspectives!

Emotion is both a strength and a weakness for me. While being emotionally aware helps me see things more completely, I find that expressing my emotions is most valuable when used sparingly. Showing genuine interest, concern and passion can encourage openness and engagement from some colleagues. Even allowing my frustration to show can sometimes help express my genuine commitment to serving our students.

One of the most satisfying experiences in my work with one of our executives was their recognizing over time that my emotional awareness had value. At first, they were uncomfortable with this aspect of my personality. I think they feared that I would make unwise choices based on emotion. In time, they came to to value that I used my awareness to consider the emotional impact of decisions we make in the process of management and leadership. I appreciated their beginning to consider my input on these factors to help strengthen our decisions. I don’t think I’ll ever know whether the value of my contributions based on emotion is more of an asset or a liability as I am too close to see this clearly. I hope that it will have proven to be an asset and I know that my learning to balance the emotional with the pragmatic, and to trust others to take both into account, will have been key to this.

Respectfully engaging with others and ensuring that their input shapes both the pragmatic and emotional aspects of decision making is essential for me. I see the role of manager primarily as one of service to those we manage. Instead of seeing a hierarchy of power with the manager at the top, I see that pyramid inverted with the manager at the bottom acting as a steward of resources and seeking to facilitate the greatest energy, engagement and productivity from each member of the team. As a leader, I will set direction and my effectiveness can be measured by how colleagues choose  to follow that direction to deliver results. As a manager, I work to foster engagement so that we can move forward effectively together.

There is an ongoing dynamic tension between seeking input and choosing action. I have found that the best solutions often come from helping to gain a clear set of functional requirements that describe the needs of the university for service and then engaging the expertise of staff to participate in designing solutions. With good quality information flowing between the IT staff and those we serve, moderated by managers to help ensure clear communication, we can avoid the pitfalls of both top-down and bottom-up design. By fostering this conversation, we can decide to explore an idea, benefit from the result of that exploration, and then make an informed choice about how to move forward together in delivering results. In the process, managers and leaders can avoid wasted effort arguing for and against specifics until they have clearer information on the options for meeting requirements.

Coming full circle, this process of respectful engagement is more likely to support a positive emotional environment, positive attitudes, and quality information about alternatives. The results can inform more effective discussions of priorities and decisions by leaders and managers.

All of these can help me in managing myself and making choices that are better aligned with our mission, our goals and my values. Even in the most difficult situations, it is comforting to feel that I am doing what is right to the best of my ability.