"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." - Bob Marley

As I near the end of my career, I’m thinking about what more I’d like to say in this series of essays. It has been very interesting giving myself the weekly task of finding something meaningful to say about my experiences working in IT, and in managing and leading teams of colleagues. Today, I’ve chosen to write a little bit about a variety of topics from what it is like to be in a position of authority, to making the hard decisions, building trust, and helping others to grow.

First, I want to thank everyone involved in some of the things I am most proud to have been part of during these years as I have pursued my career. All my colleagues at GESCO during those early years when it felt like there was no technical or business challenge we couldn’t meet together. The family of volunteers and staff at SHARE where I learned so much, and enjoyed the opportunity to work with the MVS Storage, Computer Measurement and Evaluation, and Windows Projects, and to help found the zNextGen community.

I seldom use the word “family” in the context of work. Again and again, I saw the people of SHARE treat one another with the care and compassion of family. I am especially grateful to have been part of a wonderful family of colleagues and friends on the SHARE Board of Directors. We nourished this special organization to keep SHARE one of the best places I’ve ever found to build networks, learn from others, and to play together when the work was done. Best of all was the joyful surprise of finding my best friend there, and seeing that friendship grow to include our spouses and families.

I appreciate the wonderful community at Fresno State where I have spent the greater part of my working life. We have been through some hard times that tested our courage, and together we have made so many improvements in the way technology serves our university. Through it all, I’m proud that service to our students has been at the center of all we do.  I’m proud to have represented our university as I joined colleagues throughout our region in the Collaborative Regional Initiative, and Regional Jobs Initiative that have helped revitalize the economy of our community. Together, we worked to help lay the foundation for the information technology hub, and other efforts that prepare our cities, and the Central Valley, to offer greater opportunities for the people here.

I’m grateful for the opportunity I had to volunteer beside my wonderful partner, Sue, as she coordinated the Yosemite Environmental Living Program to share the National Park idea with children, and as we’ve worked to support our local Special Olympics. I’m happy to have sung and played at benefits for good causes, for children, and for our elders in rest homes. Most of all, I am grateful for the special circle of loved ones with whom I share my closest relationships. To sing, laugh, talk, and share quiet times with these dear ones. To walk in the mountains, along the shore, and under the stars with them, and to carry them always with me in my heart, is the greatest gift of all.

In every case, the best experiences I have had with people have been built on a strong foundation of trust. When we share our thoughts and feelings honestly, disagree respectfully, give each other our best, and are open to having our minds changed by new information, trust grows. Even struggling together, or with each other, can build trust when we do this respectfully, and are truly committed to helping each other improve and grow. We can risk disappointing one another, then rededicate ourselves to doing what is right together, and learn that we are understanding, respectful, and even loving in our relationships. I am deeply grateful to have so many people in my life whom I can trust, and who have given me their trust.

I’ve been fortunate to be part of a highly diverse group of professionals. This experience has made it clear to me how much stronger we are when we join together with others who are different from ourselves. The wider range of perspectives and insights provided by a diverse community help us recognize opportunities, and challenges, and provide us a better opportunity to find effective solutions. The culture of our university embraces the diversity among our students, faculty and staff, and we continually challenge each other to improve our openness to the differences that make us stronger. I also want to thank my colleagues for their patience when I’ve needed time to improve my awareness and sensitivity. I can recall professional relationships that grew stronger as I remembered the wisdom of Abraham Lincoln when he said  “I do not like that man. I must get to know him better."

Some roles have been harder for me than others. I believe I have been an effective leader. Still, my preference is to be one member of a team working together, or to work alone. One of the great challenges of leadership, and management, has been holding and exerting authority. While it is clear to me that someone must do this, I’m also aware that there were times when others could have acted with authority just as well, or better, than I have. Over time, I’ve been asked to take on positions of greater authority and responsibility, and there were also times when I was clearly the leader the team needed. I have not shied away from using authority when I must, but I have found supporting team members as they propose good solutions, and then using my authority to advance the best of these, has often been the most effective and comfortable option.

At other times, I’ve had to use my authority to take the hard, and often unpopular, actions that are part of any manager’s work. I’ve had to discipline employees whose behavior didn’t meet our expectations or, rarely, approached the unethical or illegal. I’ve been the one to end things that lead to hardship or hard feelings. I’ve shut down operations that no longer met our needs,  eliminated positions, laid people off, and even worked with our HR professionals to terminate a few people for cause. I’m grateful that I’ve had even more opportunities to begin things, as we’ve offered new services, created new positions in the organization, and offered people opportunities for growth. I’m very glad that I’ve been able to help many of those I had to lay off find new jobs or careers.

The positions of greater authority I’ve been offered might even be described as having given me greater power. It may have seemed like that to others, but it never felt like this to me. I’ve never sought to have or wield power, and the greater responsibility I’ve felt for those I’ve lead, and served, has far outweighed any benefit that power might have offered me. So often, I’ve had the feeling that I am simply doing my best at each moment, and making it up as I go along. I wonder how common this feeling is for leaders?

Among the most satisfying work of all has been mentoring, coaching, and supporting others. This is the work that is most closely aligned with my strengths and identity. I’ve enjoyed the opportunities to provide formal and informal mentoring to help my protégées pursue their professional and personal growth. It is so satisfying to see them achieve their goals and increase their contributions to those around them. I’ve also been glad to do more active coaching to help people develop new skills and hone existing talents, and to provide training and professional development opportunities, developing managers, growing an organization from within, and being ready to offer support when colleagues want, or need, to move on to pursue their goals and dreams.

I find myself thinking about how I will feel about not being “important” in retirement. I put that word in quotes as I don’t really think of myself as important at work. Still, I am aware that people have their own images of me. Some treat me as important, think of me as kind or thoughtful, etc. I know that I am simply myself, with all the strengths and weaknesses that entails, and that my loved ones at home know me much better than anyone at work.

While I believe I matter to my loved ones in the more meaningful ways, I’m just as sure that they don’t see me as “important” in these more trivial ways that honor status or position. I wonder what it will feel like to be just Jim, the well known and loved husband, father, and friend without any of the imaginary importance that exists here. I’m guessing I will be perfectly happy with this as I’ve never really felt “important” at work, and it is the time with my loved ones that I treasure most.

© 2017 James Michael. The text of this work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0